Trying to Change Partner – Why it Does Not Work

Have you ever been engaged in a relationship in which you felt that the other party might improve miraculously? You should speak to them, and they will accept and adjust immediately, and then is your life that much better?

I figured I’ve been trying to improve the other person for several years and literally. I have had several relationships in which I have certainly felt I would effectively turn the other person into what I desired. It’s been a long, sluggish ride with this attitude. As soon as I knew the other person couldn’t change me, I just switched to another person, hoping that it would succeed this time. I was quite unaware that it never succeeds to try to influence someone else. But I insisted that it was necessary, in my opinion. I’ve been natural immune.

After years of headache and heart attack, I eventually realized that the only one I can change is myself. You can’t influence anyone else. It’s complete work. It takes a lot of energy and commitment, just trying to better your self. I found that I was responsible for only my actions, feelings, behaviours, or emotions. When I learned these realities, people who were not vulnerable like those in the past draw emotionally stable people to my life, it’s funny how it works, changes your thinking and transforms your life.

There are incredibly slim odds to change any person in your life unless the other person wishes to change. You can affect them positively but can’t make them want to alter. The fact is, you may not be in any relationship anyway if you are still that such a positive and emotionally healthy person. You automatically draw the same sort of person to you when you feel well and have a healthy look.

As I started to dig deeper at my feelings and relationship habits, it became clearer and more apparent that I attracted such people in need. I was needy. To make me happy, I counted upon someone else. My own feelings and feelings were not my responsibility. Before I could attract the kind of person, I wanted to go with, I first needed to improve myself. I used to look at other people who were content in a partner and who had a healthy relationship and feel like I couldn’t. I was uncertain that I couldn’t, that it wasn’t just about chance and more about my mind. It was all right. This is just a case in point in the reform process. I would have been the one to realize it and decide to adjust because nobody else would force me to look at it.

In a relationship, all parties ought to accept the fact equally healthily so as to establish equilibrium. More than a sexual appeal must be present. Both accept life change and reciprocal change.

Some of the signs to see if you find a person in need:

You claim your time, and you neglect your tasks and duties.
You want to make me convinced you to worry for them always.
They show jealous actions.
When you talk, they interrupt you.
You use shame to make you do what you want.
They’re using the old routine “If you loved me…
They play the part of the survivor, accusing others of their problems.

It might be a brilliant idea to take the other direction before you to get involved if you spot either of these signals. So many times, I’ve been there. I think at times what it took me to wake up and see the sun. I still felt that it was they, and not me, that I had to adjust.

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